Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23
So, at this point, my obnoxious tenacity went into overdrive and I just became down right obnoxious, anxious, a complete mess, yet determined and focused; on what? As if I could WILL this pregnancy to go well, WILL it to produce a healthy child. I gave it my best shot, that's for sure, although not in the way you'd think, like how women can be uber "natural" during a pregnancy, or protective of their physical body; "the baby house". I think back and I actually was the most reckless I'd ever been during any pregnancy. Strange. It was like I was on some kind of hap-hazard scavenger hunt where I just had to come out on top. As if. Fighting/competing/racing against who? Fighting/competing/racing against what? Yet, there I stayed, in this strange space, for twenty weeks.
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