Pumpkins At The Patch

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 ESV









I love fall!  It reminds me of abundance. 




I worried that since the birth and death of Josie happened in the fall that was going to make me dread this time of year, but it doesn't.  I'm so grateful for that.






Josie's due date was October 31, 2008.  I wasn't thrilled with this, because it just seemed wrong to have an innocent baby on such an odd (creepy/spooky/scary) "holiday".  It'd be sort of like having a baby on April fool's day (which G was just one day shy from being born on...).  Who knows why I was so hung up on dates anyway...but as irony sets in, in actuality, Josie died on her due date.








I remember this trip to the pumpkin patch so vividly.  I was so excited to get to take our WHOLE family to pick pumpkins because we already knew that we would only have this one chance to do that.  It's so strange how present I was able to be while she was alive and in my arms.  I had the presence to soak and breathe her in because I knew my chances with her, my moments with her, were waning.  This was so unlike me.  God breathed.  Life abundantly. 




Seeing it for the first time in 2008, it has taken me years to get to the point of experiencing that God breathed, abundant space again.  True joy.  It's inexplicable.




Jerry Sittser, in his book "A Grief Disguised" talks about having to plunge through the darkness, all the way through it, in order to get back to the light.  It's so true.  You cannot turn back to get out.  You must go ALL THE WAY THROUGH it and come out the other side.  Trust me, it's worth the trip.